One thing to note about beauty, is that physical beauty is so fleeting- meaning it can come and go quickly and it doesn't last forever. People get older and develop wrinkles. People get blemishes. A beautiful person could have an accident that scars or disfigures their face (I know, not a pleasant thought, but it happens). The thing is, if we base our self worth on our physical appearance and then something changes that lessens our beauty, how will we feel about ourselves then? But if we love ourselves for who we are on the inside and work at becoming a beautiful person on the inside, then our self worth isn't based on something that can change overnight and we'll be much better off!
Another thing is- have you ever been around a person who is beautiful on the outside but as you get to know them better their personailty just makes them ugly to you or at least less attractive? Well, I have! And I've seen plenty of movies that depict pretty girls in high school (like "Mean Girls" "Cinderella Story" etc) who are popular but are just so not attractive because they're so stuck on themselves and horrible to other people. Don't waste your time wishing you looked like them or trying to befriend them so you can be in their group or even being angry with them because of who they are. Focus on developing your own inner beauty so that you won't ever have to feel bad about yourself around them. You can just be happy with who you are, love others, and not worry about those who don't really matter to your life.
At the same time, have you ever been around someone who didn't strike you as particularly attractive, but whose personality just makes them appealing and you want to be around them? I've definitely known people like that and they're the kind of people we should try to emulate.
(Examples of people who are beautiful on the inside and so also beautiful on the outside - they illicit the same response to us as an outwardly beautiful person).
Pictures (pretty vs ugly outside, pretty vs ugly inside)
Whether or not you think you're beautiful, there are a few things you can do to help yourself FEEL like a beautiful person - meaning someone who is happy with who they are, someone who is confident in their abilities, someone who is genuinely loving and who serves others, and someone who is humble (you don't go around thinking you're so much better than everyone else). It may take a while to develop these qualities and you may need to force yourself to fake it for a while until they become natural parts of who you are, but I think that's ok. We all have flaws and we all have things we want to improve that aren't going to change just because we want them to. We have to work at them and be patient. As we do that, pretty soon we'll see changes in ourselves that we will be happy with and we will start to feel better about ourselves. The better we feel about ourselves, the easier it will be for us to continue to try and improve even more! Here are a few suggestions on ways you can begin to make some changes for the better:
- Keep a little post-it note or index card attached to the mirror that you use to get ready in the morning. Write something positive about yourself on it, like "I am beautiful," "I am a good person," "I am happy," "I am so blessed," etc. Write something that helps you begin the day by feeling good about yourself.
- Any time you start thinking negative thoughts about yourself, stop yourself before you go too far and replace those thoughts with positive ones. Think about things you are good at, think about something positive someone has said about you before, think about something or someone in your life that you are grateful for, think about something you are looking forward to doing soon, or think about a way that you can help someone else who may be feeling down feel better.You could even think of a favorite uplifting song you know and sing it in your mind or find a way to listen to it to help clear your mind.
- Start being more productive. I always feel better about myself when I have some goals and I am working toward them. So, think about something you'd like to accomplish or start working on - an exercise program, learning a new skill or improving a skill, working on a project you'd like to get done, etc. and start actually working on it. Being active and productive is one of the best ways I've found to feel better about yourself.
- Serve other people. Sometimes, when we forget about our own problems for a while by focusing on helping others with their problems, we realize that our problems aren't as bad as we think or, at least, we can forget about our problems for a while.
- If you feel like you're not any good at anything or you're too nervous to try new things or try something that you like but are worried about what people will think about you, the best thing you can do is just do it! I know it's scary, but you'll gain more and more confidence the more you try things. Also, if you feel a little shaky about your talents and abilities, take some lessons, practice more, practice in front of some people who can give you good pointers (family, friends, etc. that you know will be honest with you). You can also start small if that will help you or try out for things that will involve you in group work or group performances before you have to start doing things by yourself.
- Be willing to have other people look at your work or listen to your performances or critique whatever it is you are trying to build confidence in so that you can get some good constructive criticism. I know it's scary to share your talents and skills with other people for fear that they may think you're no good, but you won't be able to get better or know which direction to take yourself in until you get some direction from someone who knows what they're talking about. So, talk to a school teacher or someone who gives private lessons, talk to your friends or parents. Whoever it is, finds people - and a few people, not just one or two, who can give you some good ideas and help you learn how to improve.
- If you have a hard time connecting with people, start be forcing yourself to serve others and to look at the good in them. Complement people. Offer to do something to help them out. Consider that everyone has problems and hardships and give people the benefit of the doubt instead of thinking that people are just mean or stupid. Smile at people. Ask people about themselves and their lives. Be interested in others and show genuine interest in them.
- If you catch yourself starting to think that you're better than someone else because you're better at some talent or skill or you think you look better than them, or whatever it may be, bring yourself down to the ground as quickly as you can. Being cocky or snotty is one of the quickest ways to make a bad impression and turn people off to you as a person. People don't like others who think they're better than everyone else. I don't like to be around people who I know are thinking poorly of me or who may be judging me, and if you start being that kind of a person around others, you will lose friends fast. It's natural for us to compare ourselves to others and to start feeling good about ourselves when we realize we do something better than someone else, but, again, if you catch yourself feeling that way, find a way to get over it fast. Remember that everyone learns at different levels, everyone is good at different things, and everyone deserves to not have to be around people that look down on them. Love people. Respect them. And think positively about others.
"For attractive lips, speak words of kindess.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others."
Ways to feel beautiful without makeup or fancy clothes - laughter, service, kindness, optimism
Stories from beautiful men and women who din't care about makeup or clothing
